Lecture

Presented by Erica Aimino

Personal Responsibility

Sunday 4th May 2025

Erica began her talk by remarking that it was the sixth anniversary of the first time she gave a talk to the Church congregation, and she thanked the committee for asking her to speak again.

“So, I thought that I would speak about the idea of Personal Responsibility and, if you know anything about our principles, the principles given to us by the Mediumship of Emma Hardinge Brittan in 1871, you will know that this is the 5th Principle. 

Now I know that, just a Catholics often refer to the Ten Commandments, it’s a bit like that for Spiritualists. We might say the Seven Principles and we just move on. However, the belief or philosophy that we share during the service needs to be one that we think of as the hallmark of our philosophy.

So, when I share my words with you today, I want you to consider that life can be compared to a blank canvas. It is an open space in which we, as individuals, are given the chance to paint our own choices, actions, deeds, spoken words and indeed unspoken words. All these go to make up the canvas of our lives. And, if you consider an actual canvas, you might look at it in terms of tone, texture, colour, line etc. and that makes up a composition so that the canvas of our lives will be made up of many different elements. It will be made up of your own spiritual progress, your own actions of your own personal experiences, Indeed, you may have people that join you in your canvas of life; family members, friends, spiritual teachers, whoever the people are, they will be present as part of your canvas. 

But we are always the artists of our own canvas making and often we can be a little bit cynical about our lives and feel like we are handing our lives over to fate, or over to people whom we think know better than ourselves or even to politicians, or spiritual teachers, whomever we think may have the keys to our future.  But perhaps spiritualism gets us to think that we have the keys, that we are in command of our life, that we play the most important part in our own spiritual journey, so I want to impress upon you this example. 

As a former teacher I would see this idea in my classrooms every day. So perhaps there were two brothers or two siblings from the same family and, on looking at them, you think ‘Well, I have two very different young men here. One is making some pretty poor decisions. He is choosing to engage in some unpleasant language, perhaps some pushing and shoving, some aggression’ and the impression is that he may come from the wrong side of the tracks. I know about that because I lived in many rough neighbourhoods myself. So, I remember coming across that quite often. 

And then you might have the sibling, and this is quite a different young person. He might choose to apply himself to his studies, do his homework, respect his mum and dad, he may even choose to reach out to his grandparents. So, you have two siblings; same genetic material, similar upbringing, however, you have two different choices. Each one decides what they will do with their blank canvas. How will they live their lives? 

I would have this discussion with them and, before I started exploring the spiritual side of things, because I was teaching at a Catholic school at the time, it was highly taboo. I was in the spiritual closet I guess but anyway, I would talk with them about making choices and I know that Spirit had a hand in that. There was one young lady who was often late, and one day I called her outside away from the class and asked her why she was late, and she said that she had a fight with her mum, and she couldn’t get started and I asked her what was really going on and she burst into tears. 

And I said, “You know, if anything happens to you, say you are out and you find yourself in a situation that you can’t seem to get yourself out of, I want you to do something. I want you to get your phone and I want you to feel okay about calling mum or dad.” And this young lady looked at me wide-eyed and I wondered why she was looking at me like that. And she said that at the weekend she was at a party, and she was offered something a little bit illegal, and these kids were older kids, and she knew that she needed to get out of there, so she went to the toilet and crawled out of the door, and she called her mum to come and get her.

The reason I am sharing that with you is that, at that moment, that young lady could see something in me that I could see in her, that vulnerability, that confusion of a young person, that sometimes we can make poor choices and we can feel really alone in those choices and we can feel like people will judge us based on the choice we made and what I assured her was that she should never be afraid to admit making poor decisions. It’s okay, we all make them. However, we mustn’t feel alone because we have all walked in those shoes at some stage. So, again it brings me back to freedom of choice, to that responsibility so, just like that young lady had the freedom to make different choices, so too did the two siblings. They had the same freedom and perhaps today you might be struggling with a choice you need to make and, if for a moment, you consider the pros and cons which is something I like to do when I have a dilemma then perhaps you might make the best choice for you. You can always ask Spirit too.

I think that I was meant to have that discussion with that young lady to reassure her that somebody understood and could recognize that to be true. I also think that Spirit had some sort of involvement in it. I often found myself having similar discussions with my young people I taught and they would wonder how I knew things, and I would say it was in the file. Of course there was no file. I just shared that story with you to highlight that we all have a responsibility for choice, but we don’t have to make the choice alone nor do we have to stand alone because of a choice we have made.

Also, if you think about our canvas of life, you might look at it from a spiritual point of view. You may think of it as part of your spiritual progression. And to many of you who sit in those seats today, perhaps what has inspired you to come here today is your spiritual progression. And so, people will seek out this spiritual progression or a spiritual philosophy or they will seek out the help and support of other people in their effort to understand, to make sense of their canvas of life. Maybe they will have a mentor who will work with them as they unfold their spiritual canvas. 

I think that it is a bit of a fallacy that we are ‘all knowing’. We are not all knowing. We are not gurus. I think that we all bring something to the table, and we should never underestimate our wisdom or the power of spirit that guides us all. I am not any better than any of you who sit before me, and I think that if I did think like that then I would be building that spiritual hierarchy that sometimes is said to be how spiritualism works, you work your way up the hierarchy ladder, but that is not my contention. 

I think that each one of you on your own personal journey will have a spiritual progression and wisdom and understanding that will come as it should in the time it is meant to and that is why you sit before me today. And today, when someone smiles at you, then maybe you are meant to be a part of their spiritual journey.

I remember being part of a discussion group and a young lady told the group that, when she gets up in the morning, she asks spirit what she should wear. Well, I don’t think that we should be asking spirit what to wear. I think that we should be considering higher states of evolution than what we should wear. Shouldn’t we be thinking about personal growth rather than the clothes we wear. I’m sure they could not care less about what we wear unless of course it is damaging to us in some way. 

So, this idea that we just hand to over to Spirit for them to make the decision. Well, I don’t think that is how it works to be honest. I think it is still your personal responsibility. I think that Spirit might present you with an option, an opportunity, a person but ultimately it is your responsibility and your choice. And so, when I sit with people either from a Mediumistic or a Psychic point of view then I always relay that, at all times, the person must realize that personal responsibility is always paramount and what I say is only guidance and should be taken as such. 

Often, I will have people come for a sitting just like a couple of days ago. The lady said to me, “I want my husband to tell me what to do.” I said, “Sorry you picked the wrong Medium. I will tell you, based on what his personality might say, but he will not tell you what to do. And he gave her two options; option number one will be a difficult road. It will take much perseverance, and much strength based on x y and z. And option two, you could walk away.” She said that she wanted her husband to tell her what decision to make. I said that I would not do that. It would be irresponsible of me to do so. She gave me the side eye, but I would rather she be unhappy with me than to put words in the mouth of her husband because I don’t think that the Spirit world has the power to tell us what to do. However, they can impress us about what they feel might be best in the circumstance. They may put people in our road, they might help and support us through that decision, certainly. But will they make that decision for us? No. They absolutely will not. I don’t think that at any point we should hand over decisions to the spirit world. 

I think it is irresponsible of us to expect another person to make our decisions for us. I would not knock on my neighbour’s door and ask her to make my decisions, so if I will not hand over that responsibility in life I will certainly not do so in death. Yes, they might have their say, my mum especially will have her say, trust me she will, but she won’t ever tell me what to do just as she has never done in life. 

She might think she knows what is best for me and I may choose to agree with her, however it will be based on her life experience and who my mum is as a person and not on what I need for my personal growth. I am meant to experience that and maybe, if I listen to what my mum says, I may miss out on that gem of wisdom that could lead me to further spiritual progression. I just think that maybe that is why we are not meant to hand over that responsibility to our spirit guides or to our loved ones in the spirit world or indeed to our neighbours or friends.

Often this can be a very moral decision. When I was studying we looked at those ethical dilemmas that arise with people who have lost their faculties; decisions about helping them go to spirit, asking if it was right to make those decisions for them, and I think in that case, it will be up to the person who is their carer or family member, someone who has power of attorney to make such a decision and not someone who thinks they know what is the right thing for that person. 

We are faced with those questions, and I find myself in that situation with my mother. She doesn’t want to go into care, however her two children are in situations where they cannot take daily care of her and she is alone and we are faced with those human life decisions, and it is not easy. 

I am not standing before you and saying personal responsibility is easy, not at all. It is very personal and very demanding and very difficult. We can only serve ourselves if we serve others. I think that is very true. Yes I think that it is partly why I hold true to this, that I will always serve the Spirit world in whatever way for no cost and that is why I volunteer to work at the Churches and continue my studies and yes, there is a paid part of my work that provides for my family but there is a time that I will always give back to Spirit. I think that all of us, at some time, on some level, give back to Spirit so perhaps this is your way of giving back. Perhaps it is your ability to sit and listen, connect with other people, and take in what is said. 

You are not here by coincidence or by chance, so I would like you to consider that. By sitting before me you are performing an act of service. It is not about the Speaker or the Medium standing before you that necessarily shows how acts of service are performed. It is because you participate in the Divine service. That makes you a part of the service because if it were not for you, we would not have communication with the Spirit world. So that my friends, is how we are so different from other religions, from other philosophies. We are a living, breathing, philosophy and you are as much a part of the service as I am. And isn’t that awesome? I think it is.

I remember when I used to go to church with my mum and she would always be nudging me to stay awake because I could not understand it all and it was boring. Now I’m not having a go at the church. Indeed, I revere the rich pattern of life and the Pope, well he came from the same home town in Argentina as my mum and for her, well it was like winning the world cup for the Argentinians when he was made Pope, and some of his teachings were so rich and so captivating and there is just so much that we can draw from them so, at no time, am I criticizing that. I am just saying that it wasn’t the right fit for me. My mum still lights her candles, she still prays her rosery, she still thinks my Tarot cards should be burnt, all those things, but I understand. She has come to accept it. It took my dad ten years to come and see me on Platform so you can see that my parents are slowly opening the door. I remember when I moved into this new house, and I told my dad that my gran helped me get this house. He grumbled something but was not convinced. A few days after I moved in he got the mail out of the letter box, and he was astounded because the name on the first letter was the surname of my grandmother. I reminded him that I had said that she had helped me get the house to which he mumbled, “Well, maybe she did.” There are many incidents that have happened since then.

We must not underestimate that what we say can have a profound effect on those around us and this effect stays with us and can cause us to perhaps make poor decisions, or it can cause us to see how we can choose to smile and say hello to the person next to us and by so doing maybe you can change that persons day. 

Spiritual progression is not sitting in a development group, it is not chanting, it is not doing yoga although all those are good things. It is a human, living experience.  It is in being present with the people near to you and listening to them without judgment. It is giving that person the chance to share something of themselves. That to me, is Spiritual Progression and that is Personal Responsibility.

Thank you for listening.